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just wishes i could get a break in my life.....

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Apr. 18th, 2009

If anyone wants to add me to their friends list on Wii...my # is 4168 0809 2847

Question!

I'm curious what comes to your mind when you first see this picture:

Dec. 27th, 2008

How was everyones Christmas?

Nice

So we had a note put on our door this morning from the neighbors that live below us.

"Please keep your sexual activity noise to yourselves..  You have woken us up on more than one occasion from all the moaning that goes on for hours at a time"

I hope the neighbors realize it's not me causing all the noise--its from the two lesbos going at it. 

LOL

This is just absolutely hilarious.  My aunt sent it to me of all people. *NSFW*NSFW*NSFW*

I know it's an .ASF files are a movie file type just in case you were worried about a virus being executed.  It was checked and is all clean. 

What money can buy!  (don't have the volume up too loud)

New Phone

I picked up a new phone on Wednesday--and I'm falling in love with it.  I'm finding eachtime I get a new phone, it's becoming more and more of a challenge to get use to it and begin to like it. 

It's SWEET though.  An LG Dare with a total touchscreen interface.

In Memory

WOW!

WEST COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — Hours after performing for thousands of South Carolina college students, former Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker and celebrity DJ AM were critically injured in a fiery Learjet crash that killed four people, authorities said Saturday.

Sum it up in one word

Frustrated--
 
I guess that is the one word that sums up a lot of my feelings lately.  My life is just a big web of a mess.  Unlike a spider web which is very articulate, precise, and uniform, mine is everything but. 
 
I have been getting ever more frustrated with my failures of college.  5 years and some $30,000 of debt didn't get me a degree and didn't get me a lot of lifelong friendships that I feel I deserve.  Who would have thought that *I* would be the one who wouldn't graduate college---I knew lots of people when I went to Grand Valley State that I thought would be a lot more likely than myself to fail at college.  I guess I was wrong.
 
People tell me to go back to school and focus on what I want to do.  I know what I want to do, but it's hard to focus when I feel so desolate and un-noticed in this world.  What is it about me that is so un-appealing to people that in my 27years of life, I haven't had one single relationship?  Am I that unattractive or am I just someone who doesn't have a good personality?  Do people find my physically disgusting or intellectually disgusting? 
 
 
I honestly don't know which I feel is more important---being loved or being successful.  I could be the most intelligent person in the world and have all the money, property, or status that could be deserved, but I think that if I didn't have anyone to love it would all be in vain and that I would still be a failure.  I feel that is why I am so focused on being loved before I even attempt to go back to school.  I don't have anyone to be intimate with, to share those stresses or concerns I have, or to just snuggle up with and hold in my arms. 
 
There are already a lot of things in my life that I will never have or experience because of being a homosexual.  And it makes me wonder what, if any, things I will get to experience in my life. 

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